Total Hysterectomy in 2018

It had been years since I last updated this blog. The only update I have now is not even current. See, in 2018, my symptoms had been bothering me yet again. In June 2018, I yet again had been bleeding erratically, prompting my OB to advise me to get another dilation and curettage (D&C) procedure. So I had one back then. Once you have D&C, it's presupposed that one's bleeding would stop for a time. However, mine didn't. I continue to experience bleeding symptoms despite having the procedure and taking meds to stop the bleeding. My OB then advised me to consider doing the ultimate cure if bleeding continues to be an issue for me. I was nearing my 39th birthday then. Years prior, I made the decision to have my uterus taken out by age 40. As a single woman, my thought process was age 40 is a sufficient age for me to make that decision of giving up the thought of bearing a child. At that ripe age, I won't regret giving up my beautiful U, as it's now past or close to end of child-bearing age. When I was first diagnosed at 23 (with symptoms that started at age 12), I was told that the only way I skip experiencing the symptoms that I had then was if I have my uterus taken out. My symptoms would also stop altogether when I hit menopause. My mother had her menopause at age 45. I thought I could wait out another six years and wait for menopause myself to hit me in the off chance that I will have it at the same time my mother did. That way, I just let the whole process take its natural course without going under the knife. However, near late September of that year, I began to experience what felt like worsening symptoms. I remember there was one time that my symptoms hit me hard while I was at work. I was bleeding heavily that I remember going inside our office's CR cubicle around past 1 PM and stayed there for hours. I just waited out for clumps of blood to get out of my system. I tried changing pads but before twenty minutes or so pass, my pad was soaked yet again. Thus, as was my previous experience, once the clumps of blood start to come out, it would take another hour or so before the bleed becomes manageable. It truly felt like I was having spontaneous abortion with the amount of blood coming out of me. So yeah, I waited out the episode in the CR. Near our break time at 3:15 PM, I gathered courage to come out of the cubicle to grab my Gatorade and Hemostan pill to hopefully stop the bleeding. I remember coming out of the CR nearing 4 PM. I initially wanted to do undertime. But I was thinking perhaps I could wait another two hours and resume work and perhaps extend work for the hours I skipped while in the CR. Perhaps the Hemostan will start kicking and the bleeding won't be as bad. However, when 6 o'clock came, I started to feel faint. I didn't think I could extend hours. So I decided to hit the CR again to change pads in preparation for my travel for home.

I guess I lost too much blood then because the moment I reached our building's lobby area, I felt dizzy, and I didn't think I could walk much further to where I could wait for a taxi. I knew that if I take any further steps, I might pass out. I've passed out before so I knew then when it's about to hit me. My vision started to blur. So I stopped walking and did some deep yoga breathing. Anyway, our building had steps. I decided to sit there, hoping to flag a taxi. Unfortunately, I didn't see any taxi that pass by. I don't know what prompted me, but a thought just came to me to text my brother who works at UP, mere minutes away from IT Park. Honestly, I didn't think my brother would still be there since I know with certainty that he always leaves work around 5:00 or 5:30 PM. I guess out of desperation, I texted my brother if he's still around and ask to be picked up. My brother new of my symptoms, so perhaps him receiving a text from me he knew then that I was having it worse. Thankfully, I did reach him before he left for home. So yeah, he picked me up then. Upon getting in the car, he asked if I wanted to be taken to Cebu Doc's emergency. I said no because I thought I would just sleep it off. In my mind, I didn't want to be poked again and just be given Hemostan to stop the bleeding and some pain pills to manage the pain. I thought I didn't want to be subjected to unnecessary hassles in the ER and be subjected to tests, not to mention the embarrassment of being physically checked yet again and doubted about your sexual activity. With the number of times I've been poked by a speculum in previous hospital visits and having done D&C procedures twice, OB interns or residents usually gave me skeptical looks when I answer that I've never been sexually active, and thus, there was no chance that I'm having a miscarriage from pregnancy. How can I be pregnant without intercourse!
Back at home, I continue to bleed still heavily. After two or three days' rest, when I was confident that I could visit my doctor without incident, I went to her clinic to update her of what was happening to me the past few days and made the decision to finally take the step of having a hysterectomy. My doctor informed me that if I don't do hysterectory, she expected me to have D&C procedure every year to monitor the hyperplasia I apparently now have. As I didn't want to be subjected to that yearly procedure, I decided with finality to take the hysterectomy route. So my OB gave me presurgical orders and asked me to undergo usual tests like EKG, x-ray, and other blood test to ensure I'm healthy to undergo the procedure. Once she had the results of the tests she ordered, she scheduled me to have the operation after two weeks. My blood result wasn't too good. She wanted to ensure that I was not anemic by the time she has the operation. So she checked my blood test result again and gave me the go ahead for the procedure. She explained to me what she'll do like taking out my whole reproductive system except for my ovaries. My ovaries were healthy, so she wanted to leave it out so I will still have hormones and let menopause hit its natural course. Of course, I won't be bleeding after the procedure with the uteruse taken out, but at least I will still ovulate with my ovaries still intact.
The procedure I had was called total hysterectomy where the uterus, fallopian tubes, and cervix were removed. She had me open vertically, explaining that she couldn't do the bikini-line cut as she had to ensure that I didn't have adhesions in other organs. After the procedure, she explained that I not only had adenomyosis but also had a mild case of endometriosis as she found some adhesions (although very minimal) in my large intestines. She explained that my uterus was the size of a two-month pregnant woman, and it was pushing on my bladder, explaining the intermittent incontinence I also experienced then.
In any case, I had myself checked in the hospital Monday afternoon, was prepped the entire night for the 6 AM procedure. However, my operation was pushed to 10 AM because my doctor had an emergency surgery. So yeah, I was put under the knife around 10 AM. I remember counting from 10 backward and only reached 7 or 8, and I was out. The next thing I remember was waking up around 12 noon in the recovery room. Haha, I remember overhearing a husband talking to a nurse about having her wife stay much longer at the recovery room rather than being transfered to a ward, while waiting for a private room to be available. The nurse informed the husband that it's okay if they should wait out at the recovery room but should remember that staying past the usual time at the recovery room will cost them PhP2,000 per hour. Kamahal! I remember willing myself to make my legs move before the 2 PM deadline, as I didn't want to extend staying at the recovery room and pay PhP2,000 each hour I extend. Prior to surgery, I was informed by the surgery nurse to expect my legs to be numb and may not move right away because of the anesthesia. Until the effects of the anesthesia wears of, it's the only time I will be brought back to my own room. Haha, that conversation between the husband and another nurse truly motivated me to will my legs to work. Although, the effects of anesthesia really just wears off on its own, and functionality on the legs resume without you needing to do anything.
With the procedure done, the recovery struggle begins. I stayed at the hospital until Saturday. My doctor said that I was good to be discharged on Friday, but since my sister was only available on Saturday, we decided to be discharged the next day. The recovery was yet another struggle. I was off work for two months to fully recover. When I had my D&C last June, my doctor advised me to not report to work for a month. But after two weeks, I went back to work. So this time, my doctor insisted that I follow advice and take the required two months to fully recover.
As of writing, I'm totally bleed-free akin to having early menopause. It's almost three years now since I had the surgery back in October 8, 2018. Honestly, sometimes I thought back to when I was first diagnosed at 23. Perhaps I should have gotten the procedure then and spare myself 17 years of intermittent agony and expense. But back then, I remember that most OB I consulted that time refused to have me do hysterectomy in consideration of my young age then. Most were hesitant saying that I might someday want to have children and taking that procedure will not reverse things. My life possibly would have taken a different turn had I not have the symptoms I then had. But then again I may not have forgiven myself if I gave up on having that child-bearing years so easily. Whatever the case, I believe things happen at the right time in God's time.

lose weight

A few weeks back, I noticed that my blood flow has gone erratic. Intermittent bleeds are not great for my sanity. It keeps me from going out of the house on days end. I'm aware that there's no predicting how one's period go in a day. But with a condition like mine, the unpredictability is paralyzing. I know this is all a mental game. Thus, in order for me to win the game, I just need to play right. One of the things that I can control is my weight. True, it's hard to control it, but I definitely know that I can watch the food that I eat. Years back when I had this kind of unpredictability, one of the things that I set my mind to doing was losing weight. My OB once told me that one of the things that I could do for my health was to lose weight. According to her, and to the literature I've read, the more fat a person is, the higher her estrogen level is. The high estrogen level in my system is supposedly causing my symptoms. I say supposedly because the medical literature is really not certain as to why a woman develops adenomyosis. My case is also an anomaly in the sense that most women who were diagnosed with adenomyosis are those women who have borne children. I have not borne any nor do I know if I'm capable of conception as I haven't had intercourse before.

There is that old wive's tale that supposedly claim that my disease will be cured if I get myself pregnant and bear a child. A lot has thrown the joke of me getting myself pregnant just to see if it can cure my condition. My partnerless status makes that a complicated approach. I won't lie that I have not considered it before, but my values just won't allow it. I guess I can be described an old maid in this sense. I've held this value way before I became a Christian. My faith in Jesus Christ has all the more sealed that what I value is right. So, I should not be pressured to thinking about getting pregnant as a solution. Heck, partly there's also the fear of confirming another symptom: painful intercourse. Review on other women's accounts state this as a symptom. I'm not talking about irrational fear of the unknown here. Some women diagnosed with adenomyosis complain of this painful problem and has expressed concern of this symptom affecting intimacy with their husbands. This is one of the reasons I'm grateful that I'm single. At least, I don't have to worry about this. YAY!

Anyway, going back to original topic. I will try my very best to lose the weight. Not having a job is also a blessing in that respect. With me, being at home most of the time, I'm away from food temptations. I'm a foodie, and being in the vicinity of food especially fast food is truly detrimental to my health. Also, one thing that I've noticed that I didn't do before was drinking coffee. I'm no coffee drinker, but since staying at home I've been drinking a mug or two of coffee - the instant kind. I don't know if it's related or not, but in my research before, there was a bit about avoiding caffeine. I still have some instant coffee stashed in the house, so I'll just probably finish it off and skip them on my next grocery run.

Over the past days, I've been consuming a lot of breads. In my research before, a lot of women advised to avoid food with "wheat" in it. As more often than not, I get lazy cooking. Thus, I stock bread, crackers, and a few chocolate cookies in my fridge. I have a rule before to not stock on these food items because I know I will have no control. Let's just say, I eat anything that I see available. Thus, the best strategy for me is to minimize the food I see or not stock them at all. I violated this personal rule because I've been feeling real OK in the past months. But I guess my body is reminding me to revisit on my rules again. So yeah, I will try again at controlling the food that I eat. In fact, I will challenge myself to eat 'ampalaya' or bitter gourd. I don't like ampalaya because of its taste. However, I was just reminded this week that one need not eat something because of its good taste. One must eat certain kinds of foods because it's healthy for the body. Eating ampalaya as the reminder goes can be something that can be developed into a habit. The speaker vouched that as a carnivore himself, he loathes eating ampalaya. But because his wife is insistent of eating healthy, he has developed the habit of eating vegetables. In fact, he has developed a taste for ampalaya specifically. Ampalaya is supposed to be good for those with my condition because it has a lot of iron in it.

I'm very much aware that 'taste' for something can be developed. For example, in my early years at my former company I can never tolerate Korean food. I don't like Kimchi, the spiciness of everything Korean. But over the years, I have developed a taste for Korean food. In fact, my benchmark for noodles is now the Korean ramen. I used to like the Filipino instant ramen, but now my preference is the Korean brand. There's not a week that I don't eat Korean noodles. So I guess, developing a taste for ampalaya can be something that I can have, too. I need to do it because if my blood flow keeps at the rate it's going, although they're intermittent, it won't be long that I become anemic again. Based on previous experience, the more anemic I become, the more I will have this heavy flow. So, yeah, the order of business for me is losing the weight and increasing iron intake. If I can't do the ampalaya thing yet, I'll just resort to popping iron supplements for the time being.

If I'm able to do this, don't be surprised if I'm much thinner (hopefully) than what you'd remember. I won't go thin all the way because quite frankly, I like my chubby self! Hehe, with the exception of when I have to buy jeans!

april 2016 period report

From my last entry of april 5, 2016 , I didn't have my period beginning of Thursday, March 31 until late afternoon of April 4, 2016. I had the most pain on the night of April 4, but didn't have any dysmenorrhea the next day. Although I woke up soaked, I only had two pad changes the entire Tuesday. I stayed home until I was confident that my period is totally gone, and that happened on Friday, April 8. So generally, I'm period-free from that day of April 8 to lunch time of April 15. A little after lunch, I felt some blood trickled and I immediately went to the CR to change. I was a bit disappointed for I only had at least a week of being period-free. However, I was grateful that my flow that day was just very light. I only had to use one pad.

What I thought was a start of another bleeding onslaught, didn't turn out that way. I was surprised that today, I woke up blood-free. However, towards the later part of the evening, I felt a sudden pain in my pelvic area. It's not painful pain. Probably just a sensation of pain as I definitely didn't have the urge to call on to friends for prayers. In the past (so many years ago), I only feel the pain when I have my period. But today, I kept on checking my undies to see if there's blood. The day has past, but there's not an ounce of blood - not even a trickle. Luckily, the sensation didn't last long. Probably just under an hour. When I'm period-free and still feel a bit of sensation, I get a little scared. My doctor warned me before that I have nothing to worry if I have months in between periods, for as long they're consistent. She said that it's probably my normal. She said I should be more scared if I have these intermittent bleeds. According to her, the intermittent bleeds signify that there is something wrong. It is for this reason that I'm chronicling again my period just to see where things go. Haha, I still don't want to go back for a check-up with an OB-GYN as I don't want to be popping OCPs (oral contraceptive pills) again. OCPs are generally what's given me to regulate my period. I don't want to take them again or be injected with progesteron as I attributed them as a causing agents to my migraine. I haven't had bad headaches in years. Of course, I have no way of knowing if the pills caused my headaches. All I know that during the months that I was on pills or was injected with progesteron, I always had headaches. So, yeah, I'm avoiding visiting my OB again just so I won't have to tell her that I don't want any pills. If I have to take anything, I'm only amenable to the iron supplements. While I don't want to see a doctor again, my body is telling me that I should probably go have an ultrasound at least, just to check. Since I had the DNC last October 30, 2010, my doctor urged me to go have a yearly ultrasound. In that DNC, I learned that I only have simple endometrial hyperplasia without atypia. Among the 4 types, this one doesn't lead to cancer, while the other 3 types are pre-cursor to cancer. Even then, my doctor said that I should not be complacent and should still do the yearly check-up, even if I no longer want to go back to just regulating my period.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to do as I was told. Since that DNC, I decided to go on a special diet. I believe the diet worked for me. However, I wasn't able to sustain it. By January of 2013, I went back to my doctor complaining of excessive bleeding again. I had ultrasound again last January 9, 2013. My doc put me once again on progesteron and ocps, with a condition. As I reiterated to her that I don't want to be drinking pills again, I told her that I would go on the progesteron and ocp regimen again if my condition didn't improve. I think I only managed to finish the progesteron, but didn't get around to drinking the pill. Fast-forward to October 2013, I had another ultrasound. My doctor suggested that I go for another round of DNC. As I my company had health insurance coverage, my doctor gave me leeway to go an insurance-affiliated doctor. Though the consult and the procedure would have been free, I kept postponing the procedure until my company got into financial trouble that we lost our health insurance coverage. Thus, I ended up not getting the DNC.

So, here I am now more than two years later, wondering if my period will be intermittent again. So, let's just see how will things go this entire month of April.

For my own consumption: Summary

March 31 - April 4 (late afternoon): period free (4 days)
Apri 4 - April 7: period (3 days)
April 8 - April 14: period free (6 days)
April 15: period (1 day)
April 16: period free and let's see in the next few days

UPDATE: April 26, 2016 April 17 (Sun): none April 18 (Mon): only trickles, 1 washable pad April 19 (Tue): only trickles throughout the day (1 washable pad); then around 9 PM had sudden blood surge; clots of blood (2 sets of half-fist size) spilled on my mat. the 2nd DIY washable pad didn't absorb the clot April 20 (Wed): interestingly no blood in the morning and throughout the day, as if the blood surge last night didn't occur. trickles of blood in the evening (1 disposable pad until the next day) slept early (around 12 MN; major headache a little after 7 PM; didn't take any meds) April 21 (Thu): woke up with headache around 9 AM... headache disappeared without meds light blood flow (1 disposable pad as of 4:30 PM... headache, starting to recur - must be the heat! change pad 6 PM went out for dinner at Brutus to meet a friend; sudden heavy flow - 2 sets of blood clots; change to heavy flow pad came home around 10:00 PM; change to regular flow pad -- sleep April 22 (Fri) : woke up at 10:00 A.M; pad not fully soaked (80%) April 23 (Sat): woke up at around 8:00 A.M; April 24 (Sun): blood flow light to none; change to regular pad upon waking up at 10:30 A.M; change to washable pad around 5:30 PM; blood surge at around 12:00 MN; change to regular pad, but fully soaked barely 20 minutes; wait out blood surge at C.R., change to regular pad -- sleep around 3:00 A.M April 25 (Mon): woke up at around 12 NN; overnight pad only at 75% full; change to regular flow pad April 26 (Tue): woke up at around 10:00 A.M.; overnight pad 85% full; change to regular flow pad - blod clots discharged upon change *blood surge usually lasts from 20 minutes. by surge, I mean chunks of blood comes out and I could feel continuous blood discharge. when this normally happens, i usually just wait out the onslaught at the C.R. rather than change pads only to be soaked in less than 10 minutes. once the onslaught has passed; back to regular flow as if the surge didn't happen. sometimes, it can swiftly change from blood surge to just super light blood flow *either causal factor or just pure coincidence; blood surge happens later in the day when I consumed super COLD drinks/treats or I try to engage in a little bit of weights exercise (nothing heavy - just 5 lb dumbells)

intermittent bleeds and pain revisits

it's been a while since i've had pain symptoms. at times, i bleed more than regular women do. over the past years, i can say my condition has been OK. i menstruate once or twice in a month for only a few days and it's gone. of late, i've been having intermittent bleeds. last week (march 27), i had my period. i attended sunday church service and as soon as the service ended, I found myself bleeding heavily. as I didn't expect my period, I didn't take with me my usual kit. thus, i had to rush to watson's to buy some supplies. i waited for a while before heading home to make sure i have things under control.

the next day, Monday (march 28) - i was only bleeding trickles. quite different from the previous day. so, i decided to go out of the house to go to a government office to pay my housing amortization. just when i arrived at the mall where the hdmf mandaue holds office, i felt a blood surge again. to my surprise, my pad was all soaked up, barely an hour before i left the house. so, it was the CR that became my first stop instead of going to the government office as i had intended. by this time, i kept telling myself to relax and not to panic. otherwise, if i panic, i'd bleed more than i wanted. an hour into waiting for my turn, i felt a heavy surge once again. my number was just 5 numbers away. i was turn between bolting to the CR or waiting for my number to be called. in my mind, i kept thinking of approaching the people before me and ask that i pay ahead. but i didn't want to be explaining to them my whole medical history. so, i ended up just standing to wait for my number to be called. by standing up, i would less worry about getting the seats stained by blood. it felt like an hour waiting for my number. i was already anxious and i know from past experience that if i don't control my anxiety, i'll end up bleeding more. i pretended everything was cool despite feeling that my pad is all soaked up. i couldn't run, i just walked ever so slowly back to CR that i visited earlier. the janitor manning the CR gave me a weird look as he probably recalled that i was just there an hour earlier and there i was again back so soon. true enough, my pad's all soaked. did a quick change and proceeded immediately to going to JMall where I could get a ride back home. i stayed at JMALL to make sure i wouldn't catch myself in an uncompromising situation. every time i have episodes like this, aside from prayers, what gives me comfort is the knowledge that i have quick access to the CR. so, with mandaue-lapulapu traffic, i couldn't risk myself having an episode while on the road. this kind of ordeal is something so common to me that i really know the drill on doing things. an hour or so later, I was then quite confident that i could make it home without incident. i did another quick change and headed home. as soon as i reached home, i did another quick change.

the following morning (march 29), i only had trickles of blood as if yesterday didn't happen. such is the kind of my cycle. but to be safe, i didn't go out and stayed home.

it was only the following day, wednesday (march 30), that i proceeded to resume doing my errands. i only had to use a single pad for the entire day i was out.

thursday (march 31) to late afternoon of Monday (april 4), i was period free. enjoyed some ice candies that i personally made. but late last night (april 4) - i was heavily bleeding again. unlike last sunday's episode, last night's episode was different. i was feeling some pain. REAL PAIN. just below my belly, i could feel pain that radiates to my lower back. lumps of blood were coming out. so, last night was spent inside the cr for minutes end. every time, i change pads, barely 20 minutes pass and i'm soaked again. so, to prevent from staining my place, i resorted to spending most of the night in the CR. i brought one of my chair and throw pillow there and waited for the onslaught to pass. coming in and out of the CR was an ordeal and a pretty good way to lose some appetite. but much experience has told me that if i allow my ordeal to prevent me from eating, i'll easily lose energy. so i prepared a quick noodle meal. i didn't want to cook a decent meal just because. i tried to get some sleep around 12MN, but I could not sleep with the pain i'm feeling. tried to chat with my friends through FB, not mentioning my ordeal to get me distracted from the pain. earlier, i asked for prayers from my dgroup leader and prayed so hard for God to get me through the night as he has previously done so on many nights in the previous years. i listened to worship songs and they helped me focus my pain elsewhere. the pain was with me throughout the night. after my friends went to sleep, i attempted to get some sleep but the feeling on my lower back and below my belly button kept me from getting the zzzz. also, i also could still feel blood coming out. though not as heavy as in the early hours. i went back to the cr and just sleep there. after a few minutes in the uncomfortable position, i decided to sleep on my sofa. i booted my laptop again, and watched Ravi Zacharias on YouTube. by the grace of God, i managed to get some sleep. my last memory of the clock was around 4:20 A.M.

today april 5, i woke up around 11:45 A.M. obviously, my pad was all soaked up again. did a quick change. just like the sunday before this past sunday, my flow wasn't as heavy. only on my second pad and the pad before this wasn't heavily soaked. i didn't feel any of the pain i felt last night. it was as if last night didn't happen at all. i thank god to all who prayed for me from last night's ordeal. i thank God himself for getting me through this one-night pain ordeal. a good cry also did help with the pain, haha!

big to big

one of the symptoms of adenomyosis is dysfunctional uterine bleeding. in order to control my symptoms my doctor advised me to lose weight. according to her, i have too much estrogen in my system. the fatter i get, the more estrogen hormones are released in my body.

below are pictures of me. they were taken more or less three years apart of each other.

august 2008 - april 2011 - march 2014

at my fattest, i had the worst symptoms. my period was erratic. its duration was unpredictable. there were times i would bleed for 3 weeks. but there were also times i would be period free for two to three months. as my period became unpredictable, my doctor put me on pills to regulate my cycle. during these times, i also had pain symptoms of labor magnitude minus the baby. it was then that i made a decision to try the nutrition approach and go on diet to help my body.

i managed to successfully lose weight just by eating cruciferous vegetables (the cabbage family), no pork and beef, no instant food, no softdrinks, no pastas or anything with "wheat" in it. just vegetables, fish, brown rice. all my food were cooked either boiled or steamed. strictly no oil. but if i had to cook with oil, i had to use extra virgin olive oil. apart from dieting, i was religious in exercising (yoga and dance). as a result, i no longer feel any pain symptoms. sure, i still have my adenomyosis. but the best part is even if i would bleed for more than a week, i no longer feel any pain. i'm completely pain-free.

the bad thing now since i feel better, and able to manage my symptoms well - i am back to my old self. i'm still pain-free most of the time, but slowly i'm noticing that once in a while i feel some pain. but very slight. probably just a 2 or a 3. of course, this is a result of foregoing the diet and not doing any exercise at all.

time for me to wake up and hit my little yoga room and go easy on my food.

vegetarian pasta

wheat. it is, according to a book i've read, one of the food ingredients that women with endometriosis should avoid. red meat is also another thing to avoid to lessen one's pain symptoms. when i thought my symptoms were getting worse, i once tried avoiding these two. but i only managed to successfully do it for six months. why? in that six months, i felt better. since i felt better, i went back to eating fast food, red meats, breads, pastas, etc. stupid, eh? every time i go back to not watching the food i eat, i again would have longer periods. so, the story of my life consists mostly of going back and forth - from watching the food i eat, to indulging on meats, breads, and pastas.

when i'm on my best behavior, i usually resort to eating the following:
meatless macaroni

yes, most pasta noodles are made of wheat. but luckily, i found a brand here in the PH that is not only wheat free, but gluten free as well. the pasta noodle is made from brown rice!!!

eggplant lasagna

merry christmas!!!

it's that time of the year when dieters are put to a test! as christmas in the philippines is highly celebrated, staying on one's diet course can prove challenging. heck, for someone like me who loves eating, going on a diet throughout the year often always remains a dream more than becoming a reality! the past months i was back to eating fast food at dinner.

veggie burger

hmmm, yum!

21-day yoga challenge

signs and symptoms of adenomyosis

in an earlier post, i talked about the condition adenomyosis. just for a quick review, adenomyosis as defined in WebMD is a condition in which the inner lining of the uterus called the endometrium breaks through the muscle walls of the uterus (myometrium). in other words,

what is adenomyosis

when i made this blog two years ago, i intended for it to be my venue to rant about my condition called "adenomyosis." since then, i've never really updated this blog. one reason is at one point i made the decision not to talk so much about my uterus. i felt that talking about my beautiful uterus is equivalent to me letting the condition take control over my life. but today, i'm reminded of the other reason why i supposedly started this blog:

fight stress and believe

at all cost.
though i have no research to back the claim that stress causes symptoms of adenomyosis to flare up, i have reason to believe that stress has much to do with my bleeding symptoms. in the past three weeks, work has been crazy. i'd say late last week was the craziest. everyone is pressed with deadlines, and from my end - i can't helped but feel the pressure.

symptom free???

not quite there yet. i'm even ashamed to admit that i sort of went back to my old ways of eating. now, i'm back to 141 lbs since the last time i weighed myself, the same time i last wrote here. almost exactly a year ago. i regained the 10 lbs from the 18 lbs i lost when i was strict about going on a diet to manage my symptoms.

is there an option C

my hormones are out of whack since i was 12 years old.

the past 6 months, though i still bleed heavily during the withdrawal period, i'd say my menstrual cycle was heavenly good. heavenly great in the sense that they come and disappear on a very REGULAR basis. so regular in fact that it usually appears on a Friday afternoon and be gone sometime on a Monday. generally, gone were the days when i would bleed for weeks.

now, i am supposed to take my 7th pack of ocp,

diet violation

just when i was truly proud and shouted to the world about altering my diet to curb the symptoms of my adenomyosis, i did a major blunder today. TWICE - imagine that!

Is the Diet Working?

I'd like to believe it IS.

Early this year, I had the worst of my adenomyosis symptoms. I was heavily bleeding [think at least 10 CR trips a day + half fist-sized blood clots + more or less 20 pads in 3 days] and had excruciating pain around my pelvic area and lower back for more than five days.

WARNING: gross picture!

a struggle

i have adenomyosis. it's that condition wherein the uterine lining (that thing that lines the uterus in preparation for possible pregnancy) penetrates the uterine muscles, where it shouldn't have. because of this condition, a regular menstrual cycle for me usually involve heavy bleeding (think miscarriage proportions, where big blood clots are discharged!) and 10 out of 10 intense muscle cramping. i've had this condition since i was twelve years old. however,

a while back..

.... i made a promise to self that i will stop blogging about my beautiful uterus' condition. i made that promise because i thought paying too much attention to my beautiful u only aggravates things. that somehow, my world revolves around it so much, which is really sad to my mind.

but recent events are making me break that promise. i guess, i will just have to admit

welcoming the pain, thanks to terry fox

the salient thoughts running in my head right now are the following:

-i'm in pain, but i'm not dying. i will not die from this pain.
-i actually have several options when my pain and bleeding symptoms are at their peak:
a) i can just take in all the pain, and not complain
b) i can be proactive about the whole thing
c) i can hit my little yoga room and "try to" meditate the pain away
d) i can curse the too much blood clots coming out of my vagina
e)

thankful or complaining???

the year 2010 until its third quarter was truly great for me. in fact, it was so great that i thought it would end with a bang. of course i've only few considerations when i rate my year as spectacular or downright sad. one consideration is the chance to step on lands outside cebu, greater if it's outside the country. second is if i'm healthy. by healthy, i mean my beautiful uterus doesn't act up preventing me from doing my business. so yeah, the first three quarters met my two conditions. this year i was able to fly to bangkok, thailand and seoul, korea. locally, i had the chance to visit the northern places of cebu particularly the white beaches of bantayan island. in june, i enjoyed the northern part of luzon particularly the ilocos region. vigan never failed to amaze me. chavit singson's baluarte was awesome as i saw animals freely roaming the field. ha, i even saw a camel there. in laoag, i saw the late president marcos' remains. it was eerie looking at his remains knowing that he passed on several years ago. to top it all, the beaches in pagudpud were simply marvelous. the sands were so white and fine. lastly, i had a quick glimpse of the beauty that is clark and got a peek at mt. arayat, which we took for as mt. pinatubo. anyhow, it's only less than a month and the year 2010 bids farewell. last few days of october, i had a health scare. what i thought was a routine check-up with my ob - that is, have a quick chit-chat with her and her giving me hormonal pills to control my adenomyosis - turned out to be a start of my little paranoia over the big C. my doc refused to give me pills without knowing what's going on inside me. apparently, the health account i gave her was a cause of concern. thus, she ordered that i get myself an ultrasound. the ultrasound procedure over at cebu doc's center for women was uneventful until the ob-sonologist on duty made mention about my right ovary. up until then, my ovaries are fine. when asked what was amiss, she merely instructed me to have my scans read by my doc. as i am paranoid with my health and didn't want to have the same condition as my officemate, i proceeded to get another ultrasound. the second ultrasound was negative. my ovaries are fine. this news gave me relief until my doc saw my scans. she said my ovaries were the least of my worries. what i should be worried about is the hyperplasia. it turned out that my endometrium (uterine lining) was now too thick (1.7 cm normal is .55 mm) and that it may have hyperplastic etiology. in layman's term, my endometrium may have a condition that is a pre-cursor to uterine cancer. thus, my doc highly recommended that i undergo a dilation and curettage (DnC) in order to determine if my hyperplasia is pre-cancerous. ha, as i'm a freakin' virgin, the procedure scared the hell out of me. i asked my doc if i could do the procedure the following year just so i could end my year "feeling healthy". but my doc suggested otherwise. this increased my worry more as my doc was very conservative in her choice of treatment for me. the DnC was the very first aggressive procedure she recommended. given her approach, i took it as an alarm bell as she wouldn't have suggested it if nothing is amiss. so, i summoned up enough courage and had the procedure done and over with last october 30. luckily, the
biopsy result turned out negative. among the four types of hyperplasia, mine was the fourth type. i only had "simple endometrial hyperplasia without atypia." the other three were pre-cancerous. so yay to that! after i had my results, my doc put me on progesterone treatment. i would have three shots of depo-povera to hopefully cure the hyperplasia. i had my first shot of depo last november 6. it's almost a month since that last shot and my life can be described now as one hell of a ride. one moment i'm fine, the next i've bouts of headaches. sometimes my body feels so hot. other times, it's uncomfortable urinating. the depo is supposed to halt my ovulation. without ovulation, i'm not supposed to bleed. but last monday, i started to have blood spots. on tuesday, it was full blown bleeding with cramps and all the pain one can take in. so yeah, i'm back to popping mefenamic acids to kill the pain around my pelvis. currently, i'm not a huge fan of mefenamic acid, so i try to limit my intake to at least just two tablets a day. so in between the pill-popping, i'm in painland. i silently cry when the pain gets so intense, but on most hours i'm pretending that i don't feel pain at all. just like now, i'm pretending that i don't feel the poking sensation around my pelvis or that my lower back is not hurting. okay, there's a post it note in front of me now, it says "i am pain-free" and "attitude matters". okay, let's see how well these work. hopefully, the coming days wouldn't be as bad.