lose weight

A few weeks back, I noticed that my blood flow has gone erratic. Intermittent bleeds are not great for my sanity. It keeps me from going out of the house on days end. I'm aware that there's no predicting how one's period go in a day. But with a condition like mine, the unpredictability is paralyzing. I know this is all a mental game. Thus, in order for me to win the game, I just need to play right. One of the things that I can control is my weight. True, it's hard to control it, but I definitely know that I can watch the food that I eat. Years back when I had this kind of unpredictability, one of the things that I set my mind to doing was losing weight. My OB once told me that one of the things that I could do for my health was to lose weight. According to her, and to the literature I've read, the more fat a person is, the higher her estrogen level is. The high estrogen level in my system is supposedly causing my symptoms. I say supposedly because the medical literature is really not certain as to why a woman develops adenomyosis. My case is also an anomaly in the sense that most women who were diagnosed with adenomyosis are those women who have borne children. I have not borne any nor do I know if I'm capable of conception as I haven't had intercourse before.

There is that old wive's tale that supposedly claim that my disease will be cured if I get myself pregnant and bear a child. A lot has thrown the joke of me getting myself pregnant just to see if it can cure my condition. My partnerless status makes that a complicated approach. I won't lie that I have not considered it before, but my values just won't allow it. I guess I can be described an old maid in this sense. I've held this value way before I became a Christian. My faith in Jesus Christ has all the more sealed that what I value is right. So, I should not be pressured to thinking about getting pregnant as a solution. Heck, partly there's also the fear of confirming another symptom: painful intercourse. Review on other women's accounts state this as a symptom. I'm not talking about irrational fear of the unknown here. Some women diagnosed with adenomyosis complain of this painful problem and has expressed concern of this symptom affecting intimacy with their husbands. This is one of the reasons I'm grateful that I'm single. At least, I don't have to worry about this. YAY!

Anyway, going back to original topic. I will try my very best to lose the weight. Not having a job is also a blessing in that respect. With me, being at home most of the time, I'm away from food temptations. I'm a foodie, and being in the vicinity of food especially fast food is truly detrimental to my health. Also, one thing that I've noticed that I didn't do before was drinking coffee. I'm no coffee drinker, but since staying at home I've been drinking a mug or two of coffee - the instant kind. I don't know if it's related or not, but in my research before, there was a bit about avoiding caffeine. I still have some instant coffee stashed in the house, so I'll just probably finish it off and skip them on my next grocery run.

Over the past days, I've been consuming a lot of breads. In my research before, a lot of women advised to avoid food with "wheat" in it. As more often than not, I get lazy cooking. Thus, I stock bread, crackers, and a few chocolate cookies in my fridge. I have a rule before to not stock on these food items because I know I will have no control. Let's just say, I eat anything that I see available. Thus, the best strategy for me is to minimize the food I see or not stock them at all. I violated this personal rule because I've been feeling real OK in the past months. But I guess my body is reminding me to revisit on my rules again. So yeah, I will try again at controlling the food that I eat. In fact, I will challenge myself to eat 'ampalaya' or bitter gourd. I don't like ampalaya because of its taste. However, I was just reminded this week that one need not eat something because of its good taste. One must eat certain kinds of foods because it's healthy for the body. Eating ampalaya as the reminder goes can be something that can be developed into a habit. The speaker vouched that as a carnivore himself, he loathes eating ampalaya. But because his wife is insistent of eating healthy, he has developed the habit of eating vegetables. In fact, he has developed a taste for ampalaya specifically. Ampalaya is supposed to be good for those with my condition because it has a lot of iron in it.

I'm very much aware that 'taste' for something can be developed. For example, in my early years at my former company I can never tolerate Korean food. I don't like Kimchi, the spiciness of everything Korean. But over the years, I have developed a taste for Korean food. In fact, my benchmark for noodles is now the Korean ramen. I used to like the Filipino instant ramen, but now my preference is the Korean brand. There's not a week that I don't eat Korean noodles. So I guess, developing a taste for ampalaya can be something that I can have, too. I need to do it because if my blood flow keeps at the rate it's going, although they're intermittent, it won't be long that I become anemic again. Based on previous experience, the more anemic I become, the more I will have this heavy flow. So, yeah, the order of business for me is losing the weight and increasing iron intake. If I can't do the ampalaya thing yet, I'll just resort to popping iron supplements for the time being.

If I'm able to do this, don't be surprised if I'm much thinner (hopefully) than what you'd remember. I won't go thin all the way because quite frankly, I like my chubby self! Hehe, with the exception of when I have to buy jeans!

april 2016 period report

From my last entry of april 5, 2016 , I didn't have my period beginning of Thursday, March 31 until late afternoon of April 4, 2016. I had the most pain on the night of April 4, but didn't have any dysmenorrhea the next day. Although I woke up soaked, I only had two pad changes the entire Tuesday. I stayed home until I was confident that my period is totally gone, and that happened on Friday, April 8. So generally, I'm period-free from that day of April 8 to lunch time of April 15. A little after lunch, I felt some blood trickled and I immediately went to the CR to change. I was a bit disappointed for I only had at least a week of being period-free. However, I was grateful that my flow that day was just very light. I only had to use one pad.

What I thought was a start of another bleeding onslaught, didn't turn out that way. I was surprised that today, I woke up blood-free. However, towards the later part of the evening, I felt a sudden pain in my pelvic area. It's not painful pain. Probably just a sensation of pain as I definitely didn't have the urge to call on to friends for prayers. In the past (so many years ago), I only feel the pain when I have my period. But today, I kept on checking my undies to see if there's blood. The day has past, but there's not an ounce of blood - not even a trickle. Luckily, the sensation didn't last long. Probably just under an hour. When I'm period-free and still feel a bit of sensation, I get a little scared. My doctor warned me before that I have nothing to worry if I have months in between periods, for as long they're consistent. She said that it's probably my normal. She said I should be more scared if I have these intermittent bleeds. According to her, the intermittent bleeds signify that there is something wrong. It is for this reason that I'm chronicling again my period just to see where things go. Haha, I still don't want to go back for a check-up with an OB-GYN as I don't want to be popping OCPs (oral contraceptive pills) again. OCPs are generally what's given me to regulate my period. I don't want to take them again or be injected with progesteron as I attributed them as a causing agents to my migraine. I haven't had bad headaches in years. Of course, I have no way of knowing if the pills caused my headaches. All I know that during the months that I was on pills or was injected with progesteron, I always had headaches. So, yeah, I'm avoiding visiting my OB again just so I won't have to tell her that I don't want any pills. If I have to take anything, I'm only amenable to the iron supplements. While I don't want to see a doctor again, my body is telling me that I should probably go have an ultrasound at least, just to check. Since I had the DNC last October 30, 2010, my doctor urged me to go have a yearly ultrasound. In that DNC, I learned that I only have simple endometrial hyperplasia without atypia. Among the 4 types, this one doesn't lead to cancer, while the other 3 types are pre-cursor to cancer. Even then, my doctor said that I should not be complacent and should still do the yearly check-up, even if I no longer want to go back to just regulating my period.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to do as I was told. Since that DNC, I decided to go on a special diet. I believe the diet worked for me. However, I wasn't able to sustain it. By January of 2013, I went back to my doctor complaining of excessive bleeding again. I had ultrasound again last January 9, 2013. My doc put me once again on progesteron and ocps, with a condition. As I reiterated to her that I don't want to be drinking pills again, I told her that I would go on the progesteron and ocp regimen again if my condition didn't improve. I think I only managed to finish the progesteron, but didn't get around to drinking the pill. Fast-forward to October 2013, I had another ultrasound. My doctor suggested that I go for another round of DNC. As I my company had health insurance coverage, my doctor gave me leeway to go an insurance-affiliated doctor. Though the consult and the procedure would have been free, I kept postponing the procedure until my company got into financial trouble that we lost our health insurance coverage. Thus, I ended up not getting the DNC.

So, here I am now more than two years later, wondering if my period will be intermittent again. So, let's just see how will things go this entire month of April.

For my own consumption: Summary

March 31 - April 4 (late afternoon): period free (4 days)
Apri 4 - April 7: period (3 days)
April 8 - April 14: period free (6 days)
April 15: period (1 day)
April 16: period free and let's see in the next few days

UPDATE: April 26, 2016 April 17 (Sun): none April 18 (Mon): only trickles, 1 washable pad April 19 (Tue): only trickles throughout the day (1 washable pad); then around 9 PM had sudden blood surge; clots of blood (2 sets of half-fist size) spilled on my mat. the 2nd DIY washable pad didn't absorb the clot April 20 (Wed): interestingly no blood in the morning and throughout the day, as if the blood surge last night didn't occur. trickles of blood in the evening (1 disposable pad until the next day) slept early (around 12 MN; major headache a little after 7 PM; didn't take any meds) April 21 (Thu): woke up with headache around 9 AM... headache disappeared without meds light blood flow (1 disposable pad as of 4:30 PM... headache, starting to recur - must be the heat! change pad 6 PM went out for dinner at Brutus to meet a friend; sudden heavy flow - 2 sets of blood clots; change to heavy flow pad came home around 10:00 PM; change to regular flow pad -- sleep April 22 (Fri) : woke up at 10:00 A.M; pad not fully soaked (80%) April 23 (Sat): woke up at around 8:00 A.M; April 24 (Sun): blood flow light to none; change to regular pad upon waking up at 10:30 A.M; change to washable pad around 5:30 PM; blood surge at around 12:00 MN; change to regular pad, but fully soaked barely 20 minutes; wait out blood surge at C.R., change to regular pad -- sleep around 3:00 A.M April 25 (Mon): woke up at around 12 NN; overnight pad only at 75% full; change to regular flow pad April 26 (Tue): woke up at around 10:00 A.M.; overnight pad 85% full; change to regular flow pad - blod clots discharged upon change *blood surge usually lasts from 20 minutes. by surge, I mean chunks of blood comes out and I could feel continuous blood discharge. when this normally happens, i usually just wait out the onslaught at the C.R. rather than change pads only to be soaked in less than 10 minutes. once the onslaught has passed; back to regular flow as if the surge didn't happen. sometimes, it can swiftly change from blood surge to just super light blood flow *either causal factor or just pure coincidence; blood surge happens later in the day when I consumed super COLD drinks/treats or I try to engage in a little bit of weights exercise (nothing heavy - just 5 lb dumbells)

intermittent bleeds and pain revisits

it's been a while since i've had pain symptoms. at times, i bleed more than regular women do. over the past years, i can say my condition has been OK. i menstruate once or twice in a month for only a few days and it's gone. of late, i've been having intermittent bleeds. last week (march 27), i had my period. i attended sunday church service and as soon as the service ended, I found myself bleeding heavily. as I didn't expect my period, I didn't take with me my usual kit. thus, i had to rush to watson's to buy some supplies. i waited for a while before heading home to make sure i have things under control.

the next day, Monday (march 28) - i was only bleeding trickles. quite different from the previous day. so, i decided to go out of the house to go to a government office to pay my housing amortization. just when i arrived at the mall where the hdmf mandaue holds office, i felt a blood surge again. to my surprise, my pad was all soaked up, barely an hour before i left the house. so, it was the CR that became my first stop instead of going to the government office as i had intended. by this time, i kept telling myself to relax and not to panic. otherwise, if i panic, i'd bleed more than i wanted. an hour into waiting for my turn, i felt a heavy surge once again. my number was just 5 numbers away. i was turn between bolting to the CR or waiting for my number to be called. in my mind, i kept thinking of approaching the people before me and ask that i pay ahead. but i didn't want to be explaining to them my whole medical history. so, i ended up just standing to wait for my number to be called. by standing up, i would less worry about getting the seats stained by blood. it felt like an hour waiting for my number. i was already anxious and i know from past experience that if i don't control my anxiety, i'll end up bleeding more. i pretended everything was cool despite feeling that my pad is all soaked up. i couldn't run, i just walked ever so slowly back to CR that i visited earlier. the janitor manning the CR gave me a weird look as he probably recalled that i was just there an hour earlier and there i was again back so soon. true enough, my pad's all soaked. did a quick change and proceeded immediately to going to JMall where I could get a ride back home. i stayed at JMALL to make sure i wouldn't catch myself in an uncompromising situation. every time i have episodes like this, aside from prayers, what gives me comfort is the knowledge that i have quick access to the CR. so, with mandaue-lapulapu traffic, i couldn't risk myself having an episode while on the road. this kind of ordeal is something so common to me that i really know the drill on doing things. an hour or so later, I was then quite confident that i could make it home without incident. i did another quick change and headed home. as soon as i reached home, i did another quick change.

the following morning (march 29), i only had trickles of blood as if yesterday didn't happen. such is the kind of my cycle. but to be safe, i didn't go out and stayed home.

it was only the following day, wednesday (march 30), that i proceeded to resume doing my errands. i only had to use a single pad for the entire day i was out.

thursday (march 31) to late afternoon of Monday (april 4), i was period free. enjoyed some ice candies that i personally made. but late last night (april 4) - i was heavily bleeding again. unlike last sunday's episode, last night's episode was different. i was feeling some pain. REAL PAIN. just below my belly, i could feel pain that radiates to my lower back. lumps of blood were coming out. so, last night was spent inside the cr for minutes end. every time, i change pads, barely 20 minutes pass and i'm soaked again. so, to prevent from staining my place, i resorted to spending most of the night in the CR. i brought one of my chair and throw pillow there and waited for the onslaught to pass. coming in and out of the CR was an ordeal and a pretty good way to lose some appetite. but much experience has told me that if i allow my ordeal to prevent me from eating, i'll easily lose energy. so i prepared a quick noodle meal. i didn't want to cook a decent meal just because. i tried to get some sleep around 12MN, but I could not sleep with the pain i'm feeling. tried to chat with my friends through FB, not mentioning my ordeal to get me distracted from the pain. earlier, i asked for prayers from my dgroup leader and prayed so hard for God to get me through the night as he has previously done so on many nights in the previous years. i listened to worship songs and they helped me focus my pain elsewhere. the pain was with me throughout the night. after my friends went to sleep, i attempted to get some sleep but the feeling on my lower back and below my belly button kept me from getting the zzzz. also, i also could still feel blood coming out. though not as heavy as in the early hours. i went back to the cr and just sleep there. after a few minutes in the uncomfortable position, i decided to sleep on my sofa. i booted my laptop again, and watched Ravi Zacharias on YouTube. by the grace of God, i managed to get some sleep. my last memory of the clock was around 4:20 A.M.

today april 5, i woke up around 11:45 A.M. obviously, my pad was all soaked up again. did a quick change. just like the sunday before this past sunday, my flow wasn't as heavy. only on my second pad and the pad before this wasn't heavily soaked. i didn't feel any of the pain i felt last night. it was as if last night didn't happen at all. i thank god to all who prayed for me from last night's ordeal. i thank God himself for getting me through this one-night pain ordeal. a good cry also did help with the pain, haha!