a struggle

i have adenomyosis. it's that condition wherein the uterine lining (that thing that lines the uterus in preparation for possible pregnancy) penetrates the uterine muscles, where it shouldn't have. because of this condition, a regular menstrual cycle for me usually involve heavy bleeding (think miscarriage proportions, where big blood clots are discharged!) and 10 out of 10 intense muscle cramping. i've had this condition since i was twelve years old. however,

a while back..

.... i made a promise to self that i will stop blogging about my beautiful uterus' condition. i made that promise because i thought paying too much attention to my beautiful u only aggravates things. that somehow, my world revolves around it so much, which is really sad to my mind.

but recent events are making me break that promise. i guess, i will just have to admit